Mapping to Unlearn is your first book – a memoir on a pretty personal topic: depression. Tell me about it.
As a kid I wanted to write books – novels – about life, adventure. On other characters, not me. I would have never imagined that my first book would be on depression.
But I found the conversation on depression one that is needed in society; it still carries stigma. I often found myself in an educator role to others on the experience of depression, or bringing out catharsis in others. Then, when I unlocked my depression through mapping it, I thought this could be really helpful for others.
I also, though, did not want just heavy, hard content. So throughout the book I also include stories of my life-fulfilling, life-nourishing adventures and travels.
Can you tell me a little about the structure of the book?
Sure. I didn’t want to give a storyline autobiography. I was more interested in sharing what I have learned, and the different perspectives I’ve collected from the experience. So I wrote the book addressing various topics – antidepressants, psychoanalysis, family dynamics, sex, ethics, and even suicide. I think it’s most helpful to read the book beginning to end, to get the details I might have mentioned earlier that inform aspects I write about later. But absolutely chapters could be read independently if someone is specifically interested in a certain topic.
You use a pseudonym. How much of the details in the book are changed?
I really struggled with whether to use my own name; I write about this in the book. I decided that as part of my moving forward and gaining power over the aspects that caused my depression, that using a pseudonym helps make that separation. Besides my own name, I have changed or simply not used names of those I reference. Locations I have kept the true names of, and events I have tried to recount as accurately as possible. Yes I went to Yale. Yes I ride motorcycles. Yes these experiences are true, yes these experiences have happened.
Who do you hope reads the book?
Everyone! Especially parents, potential parents, clinicians and teachers. If people can be more aware of the types of parenting and childhood dynamics that can cause the intense pain that is so bad that suicide seems like the best and only option to being free from the tormenting pain – not only become aware of but intervene in those situations upstream before the damage is done – that would be my hope for the impact of this book.
One more question – list for me some of your favorite things.
Mmm! Ice cream. Cheese. Making snapdragons talk. Connecting with people, hearing their stories. Traveling! – road trips on my motorcycle or by four wheels. Sleeping under the stars. Nature. Rock climbing. Mountain biking. And of course spending time with good friends.
Sierra Phoenix 